Technical difficulties

Blogger won't let me upload photos, so I am very sorry I will not be posting today!
Thanks a bunch,
      -Ashley

Reflection.

 What we see in the mirror is only the outside of ourselves.
  
James 1:22-24
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

Looking past the guilt and shame that the world puts on us, we can see the true beauty in others.

 Wearing sunglasses at night just to avoid eye contact with strangers as we walk on by.
I don't want to be known by what I wear or how I "preform" in public, I want to go down in history for being unique, unafraid to be what I want! 
 Modesty in an immodest world will make me someday, I am saving and protecting something to give to my husband one day and I will fight everyday to make sure he gets all of me.
Respectfully ignoring the stares I know I am getting.
 I once was laughed at on a missions trip for my youth group for being behind my camera too much, really? I lose myself for something I love, and maybe taking pictures of you eating makes me happy, so what! 

Widen your gaze, look for the mystery inside the world! 
 Take a glance through my looking-glass. 
Don't look in the mirror only to forget what you look like, look like a Jesus freak. 

Enjoy the little things.... I am.



       Dearest,
              -Ashley 

The world through my macro lens.

When I woke up this morning I didn't really want to do anything, just lay in bed and be oblivious.
 I rolled over and looked out my window at the sky, blue and a cloud going by.
The moment I fell out of bed like every morning I knew I wanted to take pictures and I felt so eager to go outside; to do what I do best.

We planted these in the fall, waited all winter for them to bloom.
 Yesterday they bloomed, I was so excited to see what we were dying to see!

I ran inside to find my Macro "Add on" to get a better look.
Every time I run inside to my computer to look at the macro photos I had just taken, it blows my mind at the details I worked so hard to catch.
 The gold, purple and white colors.

I just laid in the grass looking for something to catch my eye.
 It was so nice out today, we spent half of the day outside working.

Macro is one of my favorites because of the details we so often miss when we are in the rush of life.
 It breaks my heart to be without my camera.

Love isn't always returned, 

most of the time we are left alone and helpless.

Broken hearted, 

Lonely,

Abandoned,

Weak,

Misunderstood,

God accepts us all.

Always on the run from the evil,

but turning around to wave at sorrow.

Finding heart in dire need,

kissing a loved one in trouble;

You're not alone Love.

Mistaken for a fool,

The only fool here is my heart,

Take it away, I don't need it anymore.

Shooting down stars in the night sky.

Making others tremble is what we're good at.

Beginning a new story,

ending the old.

Faking a smile,

forgetting how to breathe.

Remembering an old friend,

lost.

Fighting for the last heartbeat,

Justified.

I am Faith in the beginning. 

I am knowing the Truth.

I am Joyfully returning.

I am acknowledging Love.

I own Self-Control.

I am not a lover of Evil.

I am the substance of Grace.

I am the being of Forgiveness.

I am healing Peace.

I am.

    Forever Love,

                -Ashley

Open

  Lights sparkle, hair blowing in the wind.
Dark shapes, outlined flowers against the sunset.
  The stars start popping out making their debut for the night.
Blue flip flops and sun-bleached jeans don't make a statement but it was perfect for her.
 Daybreak, morning dew, it didn't compare to how he looked at her.
So perfect and understanding, he didn't think she was a monster, loving her and everything she had done.

A kiss on the forehead, a written love note, a glance across the room.
 Glistening rain in the night, a flash of lightning across the dark sky and rolls of thunder. Deep in the sheets and covers of a warm bed, the comforts of home within the arms of the one we love.
Like your favorite pair of shoes you can't get rid of, a secret crush no one knows about, it's that feeling of butterflies that make you feel alive and ready to love.

A cold finger plays with a necklace that once meant something, she rips it from her collarbone, throws it across the room; That child is no longer part of her life.
Sepia and a dark room can only bring someone so much happiness before you're drained again.
 Love isn't only just a four letter word it's an action.
God gives us love, to love others.
 Faith and hope will guide us through this beautiful broken world.
Butterfly kisses and small hints.
 A secret love can get you in trouble with yourself, "A broken heart," She tells herself, "this can only lead to heartache." and maybe... she's right.

Don't lose yourself in self pity, open to others who ask.
 Accept your past and fall into the future, forgive the ones who have hurt you to love the strangers you've met.
I don't know your story yet but I'll be here when you need me.
 Don't be afraid to love again.
I choose to fly, in the world that choose to crash.
Happy ever after didn't start, "In the perfect world of ____," it started with loneliness and heartache.


From one heartbeat to another,
                  -Ashley

Holding on

Holding his hand felt like forever.
 He lifted our joined hands to kiss mine, whispering, "I love you."
Everyone around them disappeared and blurred, nothing was like the moment they were in now.
 She's in the front seat of his car, bare feet on the dash, his favorite song on; they are both singing loudly.
He has her heart in his hands, he kisses her nose and makes all her worries go away.
 He looked into her eyes, she was lost in his blue gaze.
God makes us hurt so we can run to Him to heal us, then he gives us a miracle.


Smile Love,
        -Ashley

Begin Again.

Woods.

Trees.

Moss.

Oak.

She could go on and on and on in these woods and not get lost.

The lonely, dark eeriness made her feel alive.

Her heartbeat against her chest as she ran in circles, screaming, trying to get his name and face out of her head.

The fire she had built now contained old worn out combat boots, his army jacket and severely thousand letters bound in leather.

Beginnings and trust can become hard over time, never really knowing or seeking what we can become! Opening up to new people can open a new life.

Bare feet hitting the hardwood as she falls out of bed.

The hum of a fan chilling.

She stared at the pictures on the wall, his face burned from their pictures together.

The Polaroid above her bed, her hair falling over her shoulder as she laughed at him.

Puffy eyes, black sheets over the windows. 

Her heart wasn't into the sunshine anymore.

 The rusty scissors hit the counter as she held up what was left of her hair, all 24" completely gone, she had kept her promise after he hadn't kept his. 

Sweatpants and a loose shirt she didn't care how she looked anymore.

Weather faded lawn chairs and a glass of lemon-aid, best friends laughing at some lame joke.

It was beginning again.

Loving, opening and joyfulness... 

The tear stained pillows, burned photographs and old misery.

It was all behind her as she began living again.

Grand Haven

 For the past week I have been sick and haven't felt well!
 That's no excuse for not blogging! :)

And really at the moment I have nothing happy to write about!
 Lately all my stories and "Great" ideas are sad and depressing, so should I post a story?



-Ashley

Stormy weather.

Photography is all about taking risks... I was outside yesterday in the rain and thunder, my camera with an umbrella over it and my button, I think that might be the scariest thing I've done!

It was soooo worth it though!
 I honestly love this picture and how it turned out.

Don't be afraid to take chances and risks to get those shots! They are so worth it :)

The best part of photography for me, is being able to be myself in front of my camera.
I know exactly how I want the picture to look.
Along with modeling, body language, tension, relaxed and facial expressions.

Make-up, the hair and the clothes aren't what make the picture; it's the story you want to portray or the story behind your methods.

Rainy and gloomy days are the most fun and the perfect lighting!

I don't like when people watch me take pictures of myself or edit. I don't want to come off as conceded or that I think highly of myself, I just don't have the money for models :)

I want to make people smile and show others how I see God's world.

 Do something today, tell someone you love them.
 Give joy.
Give yourself away!
 Write down something or someone you're thankful for :)


Love isn't spending all your time with someone, you can love someone from afar and not getting any time in return.
-Ashley

Rainy days!

Took some pictures today! Will write later, hope these tide you over! 

 

T

Darkness

This past week, I have been alone, attacked by satan and self hatred...
 I really want to go back to not caring in TVR.
Home doesn't feel like home.

I got home and slept, on Saturday I heard from a friend he was sick, I said sorry hope you feel better thinking nothing of it until church at 5:30 pm I got so sick to my stomach...
 I felt like crap!
We got home and I just cried, it felt so nice to let out all my emotions.

I just wanted to be alone.
 and I got that...
Sad, alone and sad music and lots and lots of tears later I finally fell asleep on the floor in my sleeping bag.

I called it... I knew something would happen. If I knew what I know now I wouldn't have said somethings I said.

-Ashley

TVR

So I am back! Couldn't post from my phone sooo yeh :) Will have picture done hopefully soon!


 Love,
       -Ashley!